RECOVERY FROM ADDICTION

STEP ONE

We admitted that we were powerless, that our lives had become unmanageable.

As I promised, from today I will attempt to deal with the twelve steps of recovery programme as I understand it from a practical viewpoint as it relates to individuals with an addictive personality disorder.
http://www.hollyscoop.com/lindsay-lohan/shawn-holley-saves-lindsay-jail-timeagain.html

• At 18 I knew I would never love Puncheon Rum when the first drink I had blew off the top of my head.
• At 20 I knew I'd never like designer drugs (MX) when I saw sunshine along the Beach at midnight.
• At 24 I knew I'd never like the weed when I laughed and laughed and laughed like a fool.
• At 29 I knew that wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging, and who is deceived thereby is not wise".

But between 18 and 29 I did lots of things good, very good and despicable. Yet there was always that knowledge that no matter what I did, no matter where I went, an invisible power was directing my path; and given the strong spiritual training I received from my mother I always knew that my life would be different from those friends with whom I associated.

Now in my senior year most of my friends who said "Your life is over" and "You ‘fraid  yuh wife" when I made that decision to live a life free from all drugs are dead and gone. So the question is... how does one determine what the right thing to do is and when to do it.  When you're dead?

Any individual who continues along the destructive path of obsessive/compulsive behaviour will end up losing jobs, friends, family, and eventually spend time in mental institutions and /or in prison. This is what having an addictive personality disorder can mean for many.

Most will hesitate to admit that if they had sought professional help for the problems they were encountering perhaps a different ending might have been the outcome. Sometimes help did come and it was refused.

This inability to accept that one can in fact be powerless to halt an advancing problem  is one reason why recovery is delayed for so many and what also triggers continuous relapses.

I recommend that you take some time out to think through your particular behaviour, attitude, habits, and the problems that accompany it. Be as honest with yourself as you possibly can.

Though the danger exists that you will begin feeling sorry for yourself, now is not the time to give in to despair. Tell yourself that this is the first step towards meaningful permanent change.

Try not to place blame on others for your problems, and consider how many times you have tried to respond differently without success.

If your attempts at change have been so far unsuccessful then it is not so unrealistic to believe that you are in fact powerless over your addiction whatever that addiction may be, and that your life is unmanageable.

Here is an extract from a recent News article from Trinidad and Tobago. Names have been replaced for anonymity.

"Mr.R. failed with a reading of 76 and 75 microgrammes per 100 millilitres of breath.

The legal limit is 35 microgrammes.

Attorney Sunil Seecharan said his client had attended "a gathering" with a driver.

He said R' had an emergency and after being unable to locate the driver, he ended up behind the wheel.

Seecharan asked that R' be allowed to keep his driver's permit as his job as general manager  was "very demanding".

But Traffic Court Magistrate Alexander Prince told R' his alcohol level was double the 35 microgrammes and took away his licence for three months.

He also fined R'  $4,000, which he had to pay in two days or serve six months' simple imprisonment.

Prince, who also passed sentence on eight other men for drunk driving, said they were showing disregard for life and the law.

"Millions of dollars have been spent over the years informing drivers to stop drinking and driving and you all seem to care less about that... There is a law against drinking and driving... You continue to drink and you continue to drive. As a result innocent people die on the nation's roads too often," Prince said.

The magistrate also suspended the licence of R. B. , an ex-employee of R'.

B', who said he was driving R's vehicle to the police station when he was stopped, was charged with failing to give a specimen of his breath for testing.

Gosine said B' failed the field sobriety test and the first breath test that was administered.

He said during the second test, B' "placed his lips on the nibbles of the device and refused to blow".

He was told of the offence and asked to blow a second time but refused, Gosine said.

B'  told the court he suffers with asthma and told this to the charging officer.

Prince fined him $2,000 and took away his licence for three months.

Should the money go unpaid in seven days, B' will serve three months' simple imprisonment.

Steve , Mohan, Justin, Avin, Sam, Nyro and Ras were all fined and had their licences revoked.

They all have the option of applying to the Transport Commissioner to have it reinstated.

A. S, who had a reading of 117 microgrammes, was fined $6,000. He had seven days to pay or he would serve 12 months in jail.

His licence was revoked for a year.

"Take a rest before you kill someone or kill yourself," Prince said."

So the question again is "How do you determine what the right thing to do is and when to do it, when you're dead?"