RESTORING RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHILDREN

Children are not only God’s gift to a relationship but their future happiness depends on your direction. They are what they learn, and they learn by example rather than by words. Demonstrate love and respect for your children as this will assist in developing a more relaxed atmosphere at home.

Helping them direct their leisure time can also make the difference between success and failure. There is nothing as satisfying as regular outings with your family members especially when there is no substance abuse problem to get in the way. Too many fatal traffic accidents occur on the way back home from family outings after a day of imbibing alcohol so if you have had a problem with leaving off the drink when you should, the best option is not to take the drink with you on these family outings. The others will just have to understand.

We need always to lay the foundation for wonderful memories of special occasions, of birthdays and of holidays. I still remember with fondness my father taking me to the barbershop on his bicycle for my first haircut, and I was less than five years old! This memory made up for all the disappointments later on.

It is better to "train your children now in the way they should go so that when they grow up they will not depart from it". If they grow up unable to love because they did not experience your love and affection, or to be dishonest, rebellious, abusive, unmannerly, disrespectful, remember that you were their first teacher.

My appeal to fathers is that they must not just be sperm donors, and that they must ensure that their influence is present in their son’s or daughter’s life. Even today my grown children can relate stories from their times growing up in a home where their parents set specific rules which have kept them focused right up to their adult years.

Mothers  and Fathers must be careful to ensure that their relationships with their children are approved by God, and that they understand the difference between friendship and confidante.

There is absolutely no excuse for incest as the destruction of a child’s life is not something anyone should want on his or her conscience. Do you really want to keep asking God’s forgiveness for committing such a sin against someone who loves and trusts you?

Incest is often responsible for low self esteem and feelings of guilt and of being unclean among children. As they grow many develop an intense fear of intimacy, often becoming drug addicts and engaging in indiscriminate sexual activity and promiscuity.

For many of them incest will mean  being unable to fulfill their potential, developing a hatred towards society, turning to a self destructive lifestyle of murder, mayhem  and even suicide.

If these problems are a by-product of parental love, is it any wonder that there are so many single parent homes and delinquent youths? If you wish to maintain or restore your relationship with your children I recommend that you accept that your children are people too, with thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and that one day they too will become adults and possibly parents. Therefore these words are just as relevant as they would be for others i.e. " Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

Do have a blessed day.